On the edge...

... of the unknown.  I am excited, nervous, a bit scared, mostly excited!

Tomorrow is my appointment with my NaPro Dr.  :-)

This will be my initial visit and some testing, possibly ordering some labs and getting some prescriptions, maybe an ultrasound to see my ovaries, possibly discussing a lap to check for endometriosis... just guesses.  I am working hard on not obsessing and trying not to get carried away with attempting to predict and prepare for every possible scenario.

Last week I was going kinda nutso, Tom and I went out for dinner and left the kids with our wonderful friends.  It was so good to talk about my feelings with him.  I was feeling a little alone on the fertility train... but he really is right there beside me, holding my hand, making sure I don't jump overboard with crazy obsession and paranoia.  He is so good for me.  I started into a long discussion about how I am doing this and this and I think this will happen and what if this happens and what do we think about this possibility, on and on.  He looked at me and said "Above all, I want you to be healthy and with me for as long as possible.  If getting you healthy means we can have more children, I would love that.  We will not take short-cuts and do things that may harm you.  Let's see what the Dr finds and recommends and we will ask questions and research as things come up.  I love you.  Calm down."  (Paraphrased but that's the gist.)

I've been much better since then.  :-)

I know that while I have all the daily charting and testing and observing and temping and things that I can do and be absorbed in, it may seem that he is hardly participating (except obvious necessities, ha!)... but that is not the case.  I know that he is thinking about it and working very hard to stash away money for treatments and probably bearing more of the burden than I realize.

So, pray for us!  We are leaving at 9am and have a 2 1/2 hour drive to Duke University.  My appt is at 1:30pm.  I will post an update here as soon as I can.  We are driving another 4 hours down to SC to see some wonderful friends and spend the weekend with them.  It will be very nice.  Thank you!