Cycle 2 of shut-down, also a fail!

Well, not going to try the "third times a charm" theory.  I used the progesterone cream days 7-26 and still ovulated on day 37 and had a 15 day luteal phase (longer than usual - unless TCOYF and I are both off on O date?).  I don't think that I will go for another shut-down cycle, seems to not be doing what it's supposed to do and just delaying ovulation rather than suppressing it which is making for longer cycles than before even!  So.... not really sure what's next.  Menses started today, will think more about it tomorrow.

Progesterone shut-down cycle FAIL!

Well, this was an interesting cycle to be sure.

I was attempting to suppress ovulation, take lots of progesterone to correct the ration of estrogen to progesterone in my body and give myself a wee break from the ttc madness.  The plan was to do 3 cycles.  I took 96mg of USP progesterone cream on day 7-26.  I took my temp regularly though didn't always chart them right away.  I noticed cm and other symptoms but kept shoving them back in my brain telling myself I was "on break".  I did not record in my journal, have not eaten well, have rarely exercised.  I was really taking a break... or so I thought.

I just this afternoon went to enter the last 5 days of bbt temps in my TCOYF chart and realized, huh, those have all been higher.  Entered the data and lo and behold the chart gave me an ovulation date of cd 25 - about a week ago.  If I think back, yep, did have a bit more cm around then - yep, I do remember feeling tender/sore and yep, I did also have abdominal twinges around then.  It wasn't as severe as recent cycles but the signs were there.

So, guess we're in the 2 week wait - about a week through it actually, which is nice.  I don't expect much, but will be watching with interest.

Will be considering future cycles, will probably continue as planned, I don't know?

The beginning...

New cycle began yesterday. I had another 16-day luteal phase with the help of hcg, which is great, whole cycle was 39 days long. We have decided to do a 3-month "break" during which I will use progesterone cream on days 7-26 of 3 cycles. It will help dissolve any cysts, reduce estrogen dominance and just give my body a break. This amount of progesterone will suppress ovulation (thus the break from ttc), when I stop the progesterone on cd26 it will induce a "period" (actually withdrawal bleed) and create a better pattern of shorter cycles. We will begin ttc again in December. I will also be working on exercising more and returning to better eating habits during this time. I hope to lose about 20# before December. This will also give us a financial break from the meds and appts. We may try to do a couple more diagnostic tests toward the end of the break to make sure things are clear and a "go" for December. Hopefully all will line up that month and we can have a fall 2012 baby!

Radiology report

NaPro Dr kindly forwarded me the radiology report so I could read for myself all the details (fitting, since they ARE my ovaries - why we don't get them automatically is beyond my understanding!).

Here we go - FINDINGS:
"Examination shows endometrium to be normal for age with the uterus measuring 8.5 x 3.1 x 4.9 cm. Calcification is suggested adjacent to the cervix which could be seen secondary to prior inflmmation or delivery. The right ovary measures to 3.7 and the left to 3.4 cm in size. Multiple cysts are seen bilaterally within the ovaries with the largest on the right measuring 2.3 cm and the largest on the left measuring 1.9 cm. No free fluid is identified. Small nabothian cyst is noted which may reflect earlier inflammatory or post surgical change."

My NaPro doc said that the larger cysts are consistent with physiologic follicles (follicles preparing to release an egg). He also said that he can't tell from this report whether my ovaries are consistent with PCOS or not. The cyst and calcification on my cervix was not mentioned to me by either doctor, but is a bit alarming to me.

So... now what? I don't know. My NaPro Dr. has moved to MO and requested that I find local care. :-( The family doc here offered me a referral to the ob/gyn in their practice and I may take them up on that for further testing and treatment. Planning to sit down with my hubby tonight for some R&R and discussion.

ANNOUNCING!

My new book is ready! It can be purchased through lulu.com and I think you will be very pleased with it. Here's why:
1) Great size, 6x9 that can be slipped into a purse
2) Sturdy glossy covers and spiral binding
3) 2-page spread for each day; 100 days worth of pages
4) Spaces to record weight, bbt, opk, foods, supplements, medications, appointments, etc...
5) In the front, there are 4 bbt charts to fill in if desired and be able to show your doctor
6) A sample page in the front to help clarify what the different fields are for
7) A blank page for each day to record extra symptoms and journal your feelings
8) Pre-filled common fertility supplements and medications make it easy to check off
9) Extra spaces to customize your own supplements
10) This journal can be used by those struggling with infertility, and those who are trying to avoid naturally through fertility awareness.

All of these things have been an immense help to me on my fertility journey and I hope it will be to you also! I am so excited to offer this journal to you. Click on the links here, or in the sidebar to purchase. :-)

Appt yesterday and another Monday

My NaPro doctor moved from NC to MO and he has been helping me via e-mailed charts and prescriptions, etc... This last cycle just was not looking as good BBT wise as the previous one and I was asking him what else we could do. We discussed upping my meds dose and he recommended getting an ultrasound of my ovaries prior to that so that we could make sure there were no large cysts or a lot of unruptured large follicles. I found a family doctor locally who would see self-pay patients (harder than I imagined)! I met with him yesterday. We talked for a while about my history, current treatment, what I needed and he palpated my belly and pretty quickly found my right ovary seemed enlarged and likely cystic. I guess with PCOS, that isn't a big surprise, but I was still disappointed. We have the ultrasound scheduled for Monday afternoon to get a good look and see what is going on there, how many cysts, how large, what kind and how the follicles are looking. It's a relief to finally be getting a "look-see" but intimidating nonetheless. I am also considering and discussing with both doctors trying to get an hsg done to check on blockages and see what my tubes and uterus are looking like... costly, but seems worth it? We are also going to check into getting a semen analysis done, it hasn't been pushed by doctors since Tom is "proven" :-) but a lot can change in 10 years and he is around a lot of chemicals and nasties in his work, so probably worth another check. We figure that throwing over $200 at meds a month, we should be good and certain nothing else is blocking the way. So, that's the update here. It's funny, now that the Dr. pressed on my ovary and I felt what it felt like (tender), I can find it now and feel the cysts. Eeek! I am nervous about the news of what all we find in there.

I've been feeling a little more "off" for the last 2 1/2 weeks. Ever since 10dpo last cycle, not sleeping real well, night sweats, temps erratic. Grrrr.....

Fertility Journal rewrites

Got some great feedback from my fertility journal "testers" and am beginning final edits tomorrow and hope to have them done by the end of the week. I hope to have them available for sale before too long!

May & June cycles

We gave in and have tried some new meds the last 2 cycles. I have taken Femara (letrazole) days 3-7 and hcg injections days 3,5,7 and 9 dpo. These are to stimulate a stronger ovulation and to jump start the corpus luteum into producing progesterone. The cycles have definitely improved, but I am not yet pregnant. They have both been 35 days long and ovulation occurred around day 20 which makes my lp go from 12 days to 15 days - very nice! I am encouraged by these things and thankful that my follicular (estrogen dominant) phase and luteal (progesterone dominant) phase are waaaay more balanced - this is so much healthier for me over all. My bbt chart the 1st cycle on the meds was beautiful and I was very hopeful. The 2nd cycle (ended yesterday) was not as good, temps went up a bit, went up some more but then by 10dpo they were dropping and stayed just barely above coverline the rest of my lp. I also had a tiny bit of spotting on 10dpo and a headache the day before menses (with migraine "aura" the night before the headache), all of this indicates low progesterone to me. So... keeping on keeping on. Sent an e-mail to my Dr and FP tonight to see what's next and if any changes are in store for the next cycle.

Soooo looooooong....

This cycle has been incredibly long and ridiculous. I am on CD 64, 12dpo - I assume af will arrive today. Had a migraine yesterday, low back pain and a bit of cramping, still some of the same today though the headache is much better. Hubby and I both gained almost 10# while we were on vacation, so hitting the diet pretty hard again - eating only meat, veggies and fruits (no beans, grains, sugars, nuts or dairy). We are gearing up for a serious try on the next cycle. I have some new prescriptions, started back to serious diet-watching, and am planning to be very focused this next cycle. I'll keep you posted!

Discouraged

Well, here I am at cd43 and no sign of ovulation or af yet. It is very discouraging to say the least. I am feeling okay, have had a few days of being moody/angry - my joints are pretty achey - I am tired. I actually am wondering about my thyroid, I had a temp of 95.8 this morning - eek! I have been having cold hands and feet again too. Bummed 'cause it was doing so much better, wonder if I am sensitive enough that the leak in Japan is bothering me? I stopped all supplements this month except the Metformin, wasn't really a conscious decision - just got so busy. Just had a phone consult with my Creighton Practitioner and sent off an e-mail to my NaPro Dr. I am hoping that my 8 months of charting and almost 6 months on Metformin will earn me something... labs at least? I am getting tired of being patient, especially when I'm not seeing improvement. So, that's where I am currently. I'll keep ya posted!

Plans (occupying my mind)

Hanging in here!  I am trying very hard not to look for signs, but it's hard!  8dpo and nothing exciting to report, my lp is 12-13 days normally.  We'll see.  I try to use this time to consider the cycle and what worked and what changes, if any, to make for next cycle should it come (that way I have something to look fwd to if af shows).  I am thinking that I will take the soy isoflavones again at 150mg days 5-9 and I also will commit to getting maca in me.  I really, really dislike the taste of maca and just cannot get it down in smoothies or by just guzzling it in a bit of water (that was about disastrous).  I am planning to capsule it and commit to taking 4 capsules a day which should equal 2 tsp.  Starting Monday, I also plan to exercise for 30 min daily whether af comes or not, and work more on eating well - low carb whole foods.  I did get a menu made for this week and did grocery shopping based on it yesterday so that shouldn't be too hard!

Oh, one thing to make note of is that I have had the sciatica pain on my right side and that strange itchy nerve pain in my right hip for the past 4 days.  It seems to be subsiding today.  Very annoying, painful and frustrating!

A new resource!

I have spent time on Natural Fertility Info website often over the past year, Heather has some great info there and now she has opened a new community/forum for us IF/ttc folk to use.  Head on over to Natural Fertility Community and check it out.  She is even running a big launch party give-away!

Not this month...

Still a very encouraging cycle.  Temp finally dipped below coverline this morning and I can feel af on her way.  I tested with a First Response on Sat morning (12dpo) and it was negative.  I had been hopeful as I could see a true ovulation.  I do still think that ovulation was "weak" and the corpus luteum was definitely not producing sufficient progesterone as the temps were barely above coverline.  I hope to see more improvements on the next cycle.

We are thinking and praying about the next steps and will update here as we decide.  Thanks for your prayers and support!

Fertility Journal completed and printed!

I am pretty excited about how this turned out.  I will start using it next cycle, want to keep using my current notebook so this cycle is all together.  It will be a lot less work for me on a daily basis a time-saver, gotta love that!

It has 50 double-sided pages that are a form (one form per page per day).  There are blanks for you to fill in all your TTC / health info... BBT, CM, fern, OPK, BD, meds, vitamins, as well as water, weight, exercise, foods eaten, blood sugar readings, symptoms, etc...

I am planning to use it for at least one cycle and contemplating getting a few volunteers to be "testers" and give feedback.  In the meantime, looking into the basics of how to offer them for sale at a reasonable price. Any advice?  Leave a comment if you are interested...

Brief update

I just had a lovely chat with my Creighton practitioner.  I just love her.  It is so encouraging to hear that you're on the right track.  She is going to look into some things for me and I am also going to contact my Dr at the end of this cycle with all the info I have gathered (my bathroom looks like a lab -seriously!) and see about some more aggressive / long-term treatment.  Waiting is so hard and it seems we've been on this track forever - even though it's really only been since August since we've been actively pursuing this!  I am still encouraged with my temps, have only had one dip in the 19 days of this cycle - much more stable so far which is encouraging.  Still waiting for my peak this cycle but feeling much more positive thus far.  Tom has been doing my CrMS charting for me each night - somehow that helps my sanity lots!  :-)  That's it for now...

A new month, a new cycle...

Feeling a bit encouraged this morning.  I had a rough week last week, feeling very moody and overwhelmed and confused.  :(  However, last night that cycle ended - AND it was right when I predicted that it would come.  My peak day and probable ovulation was on day 30 which gives me a 12 day luteal phase.  I say probable because while cm and ferning support this, it wasn't a very strong shift in temps - you can see a gradual shift but the variance wasn't great and it's not a good indication.  Dr. Yeung thinks that I am ovulating but not very strongly or adequately.  The corpus luteum is not producing enough progesterone to support a pregnancy (build a lining).  The corpus luteum could be underdeveloped due to insufficient FSH or my ovaries not responding to the FSH... need to look into that more.  We will be doing progesterone blood levels on peak day +7, +9 and +11 of this coming cycle to confirm this.  I am taking the antibiotic during menses right now in hopes that it will clear up any other reason for the continuous cm and make identifying peak more clear.  Please pray for my ability to easily identify peak day this month!

Infertility Journal

I don't know about you ladies, but I have been keeping a small journal of my daily cm observations, temps, medications, appts, food, exercise, moods, etc...  I was getting tired of filling in all the "fields" each day before filling in that day's info, so I am looking at getting some printed with all the fields already filled in.  Thought this might be something that others would use.  What do you think?  Do you use one?  Would you?  What information would be helpful for you?  Was thinking of having some extras printed when I did mine and then maybe trying to sell some on Etsy and on the blog here.

NaPro Dr appt update

Hi everyone!  We are sitting outside Duke having ice cream and I
thought I'd send an update.  The appt went fine - quick, but Dr Yeung
did a good job answering our questions and concerns.  I have a script
to get lab work done to check on my kidneys and liver and cholesterol
and if they check out fine then I have a script for Metformin which
will help with insulin resistance and weight and lowering
testosterone.  It may help me to ovulate.  He said my cervix looks
fine and I have great CM.  :-).  He did give me a script for an
antibiotic too to see if that clears up some of the continual CM.  He
said he does not suspect endo based on his exam.  He reinforced the
fact that there is no cure for PCOS and the 3 options for treatment if
one wants to conceive are Met, Clomid and Femara - the other 2
stimulate ovulation and he admitted are less of a long-term help and
more of a band-aid fix.  We were clear about wanting my long-term
health to be top priority but that we would love to be fertile also!
I am to stay in touch with LaDean and to send Dr Yeung my chart and an
e-mail every 3 months or if anything changes.  If I become pg, I need
to notify him right away so he can order a lab for a progesterone
test.  I think that's it!  Let me know if there are any ?s.

On the edge...

... of the unknown.  I am excited, nervous, a bit scared, mostly excited!

Tomorrow is my appointment with my NaPro Dr.  :-)

This will be my initial visit and some testing, possibly ordering some labs and getting some prescriptions, maybe an ultrasound to see my ovaries, possibly discussing a lap to check for endometriosis... just guesses.  I am working hard on not obsessing and trying not to get carried away with attempting to predict and prepare for every possible scenario.

Last week I was going kinda nutso, Tom and I went out for dinner and left the kids with our wonderful friends.  It was so good to talk about my feelings with him.  I was feeling a little alone on the fertility train... but he really is right there beside me, holding my hand, making sure I don't jump overboard with crazy obsession and paranoia.  He is so good for me.  I started into a long discussion about how I am doing this and this and I think this will happen and what if this happens and what do we think about this possibility, on and on.  He looked at me and said "Above all, I want you to be healthy and with me for as long as possible.  If getting you healthy means we can have more children, I would love that.  We will not take short-cuts and do things that may harm you.  Let's see what the Dr finds and recommends and we will ask questions and research as things come up.  I love you.  Calm down."  (Paraphrased but that's the gist.)

I've been much better since then.  :-)

I know that while I have all the daily charting and testing and observing and temping and things that I can do and be absorbed in, it may seem that he is hardly participating (except obvious necessities, ha!)... but that is not the case.  I know that he is thinking about it and working very hard to stash away money for treatments and probably bearing more of the burden than I realize.

So, pray for us!  We are leaving at 9am and have a 2 1/2 hour drive to Duke University.  My appt is at 1:30pm.  I will post an update here as soon as I can.  We are driving another 4 hours down to SC to see some wonderful friends and spend the weekend with them.  It will be very nice.  Thank you!

October 7

My first appointment is set!  I am excited and nervous to move on in this journey.  My 60 days of initial charting will be up on September 29 and my appt with Dr. Yeung is a week later.  I will continue to chart using the Creighton Method and send it to the Dr, but this gets enough to hopefully give him a decent picture of what is going on with me and where to go next.  My wonderful teacher, LaDean Barnes is preparing my referral letter and gathering all my data for him.  My hope for this appt is to have a good consult with the Dr, to get some initial exams and tests done or labs ordered, I also am hoping for a prescription for Metformin as it will often help by stabilizing any insulin resistance and lowering testosterone.

Please keep us in prayer as we will have many decisions to make - pray for answers and clarity.  Thank you all!  :-)